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Please Let Me Sleep On Your Doorstep Tonight
Billy Bennett,
billed as being 'Almost A Gentleman' perpetrated this bad
salad - sorry, this sad ballad. Not a dry seat in the
house...
T'was Christmas Eve, at midnight,
And a tramp with haggard face
Was knocking at the door
Of a rich millionaire's pal-ace.
The rich man, in pyjamas
Trimm'd with gold and costly fur,
Said "What are you a-wanting of?"
The tramp replied "Dear Sir,"
"Please let me sleep on your doorstep tonight
I'm homeless and cold and the snow's falling white
The fire through your key-hole
Looks cosy and bright
So please let me sleep on your doorstep tonight."
The rich man said "How dare you!"
In a manner cold and chill,
And from his freezing nose
He proudly wiped an ici-cle
That night while his rich brother slept
On silk sheets trimmed with lace
The poor man slept, and then
The snow-flakes fell on his car-cass
"Please let me sleep on your doorstep tonight
I'm homeless and cold and the snow's falling white
The fire through your key-hole
Looks cosy and bright
So please let me sleep on your doorstep tonight."
The rich man called a constable
And said "remove this man"
He shone his lamp, the rich man cried
"Why, it's my brother Dan!"
"You want to sleep upon my doorstep
You, my brother Fred,
You shall sleep on my doorstep
I didn't know you when you said:"
"Please let me sleep on your doorstep tonight
I'm homeless and cold and the snow's falling white
The fire through your key-hole
Looks cosy and bright
So please let me sleep on your doorstep tonight."
The rich man caught pneumonia
From standing in the cold
And soon at heav'n's pearly gates
He claimed his wings of gold
The angel to the rich man said
"You can't come in, oh no."
The rich man said "Well as it's late
And they're full up below..."
"Please let me sleep on your doorstep tonight
I'm homeless and cold and the snow's falling white
The fire through your key-hole
Looks cosy and bright
So please let me sleep on your doorstep tonight."