The End of the World

From the revue that really launched the 'satire' boom, the 1961 Beyond The Fringe. The cast: Peter Cook, Jonathan Miller, Dudley Moore and Alan Bennett. They are seated, huddled, on the top of a mountain...

Jon :
How will it be, this end of which you have spoken, Brother Enim?
Omnes:
Yes, how will it be?
Peter :
Well, it will be, as 'twere a mighty rending in the sky, you see, and the mountains shall sink, you see, and the valleys shall rise, you see, and great shall be the tumult thereof.
Jon :
Will the veil of the temple be rent in twain?
Peter :
The veil of the temple will be rent in twain about two minutes before we see the sign of the manifest flying beast-head in the sky.
Alan :
And will there be a mighty wind, Brother Enim?
Peter :
Certainly there will be a mighty wind, if the word of God is anything to go by...
Dudley :
And will this wind be so mighty as to lay low the mountains of the earth?
Peter :
No - it will not be quite as mighty as that - that is why we have come up on the mountain, you stupid nit - to be safe from it. Up here on the mountain we shall be safe - safe as houses.
Alan :
And what will happen to the houses?
Peter :
Well, naturally, the houses will be swept away and the tents of the ungodly with them, and they will all be consuméd by the power of the heavens and on earth - and serve them right!
Alan :
And shall we be consumed?
Peter :
Con..sum..éd? No, we shall not be consuméd - we shall be up on the mountain here, you see, while millions burn, having a bit of a giggle.
Jon :
When will it be, this end of which you have spoken?
Omnes :
Aye, when will it be - when will it be?
Peter :
In about thirty seconds time, according to the ancient pyramidic scrolls... and my Ingersoll watch.
Jon :
Shall we compose ourselves, then?
Peter :
Good plan, Brother Pithy. Prepare for the End of the World! Fifteen seconds...
Alan :
Have we got the tinned food?
Dudley :
Yes.
Peter :
Ten seconds...
Jon :
And the tin-opener?
Dudley :
Yes.
Peter :
Five - four - three - two - one - Zero!
Omnes :
(Chanting) Now is the end - Perish The World!

A pause

Peter :
It was GMT, wasn't it?
Jon :
Yes.
Peter :
Well, it's not quite the conflagration I'd been banking on. Never mind, lads, same time tomorrow... we must get a winner one day.