Home Page >>
The "Inalienable Rights" scene
... from Monty Python's Life of Brian.
A huge Roman amphitheatre, sparsely attended. REG, FRANCIS, STAN and JUDITH are seated in the stands. They speak conspiratorially.
- Judith:
- Any Anti-Imperialist group like ours must reflect such a divergence of interests within its power-base.
- Reg:
- Agreed. (General nodding.) Francis?
- Francis:
- I think Judith's point of view is valid here, Reg, provided the Movement never forgets that it is the inalienable right of every man ...
- Stan:
- Or woman.
- Francis:
- Or woman ... to rid himself ...
- Stan:
- Or herself.
- Reg:
- Or herself. Agreed. Thank you, brother.
- Stan:
- Or sister.
- Francis:
- Thank you, brother. Or sister. Where was I?
- Reg:
- I thought you'd finished.
- Francis:
- Oh, did I? Right.
- Reg:
- Furthermore, it is the birthright of every man ...
- Stan:
- Or woman.
- Reg:
- Why don't you shut up about women, Stan, you're putting us off.
- Stan:
- Women have a perfect right to play a part in our movement, Reg.
- Francis:
- Why are you always on about women, Stan?
- Stan:
- I want to be one.
- Reg:
- What?
- Stan:
- I want to be a woman. From now on I want you all to call me Loretta.
- Reg:
- What!?
- Stan:
- It's my right as a man.
- Judith:
- Why do you want to be Loretta, Stan?
- Stan:
- I want to have babies.
- Reg:
- You want to have babies?!?!?!
- Stan:
- It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them.
- Reg:
- But you can't have babies.
- Stan:
- Don't you oppress me.
- Reg:
- I'm not oppressing you, Stan — you haven't got a womb. Where's the foetus going to gestate? You going to keep it in a box?
STAN starts crying.
- Judith:
- Here! I've got an idea. Suppose you agree that he can't actually have babies, not having a womb, which is nobody's fault, not even the Romans', but that he can have the right to have babies.
- Francis:
- Good idea, Judith. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother. Sister, sorry.
- Reg:
- What's the point?
- Francis:
- What?
- Reg:
- What's the point of fighting for his right to have babies, when he can't have babies?
- Francis:
- It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression.
- Reg:
- It's symbolic of his struggle against reality...