Home Page >>

In Southern preacher mode, 'Deacon' Andy Griffith guides us through Shakespeare's immortal 'Romeo and Juliet'. He does...

Romeo and Juliet: Now thar is a real thing. It’s a story ‘bout how this boy and girl fell in love of one another, don’t you see. It is! And evr’thing would have been all right for ‘em, except their daddies didn’t get along. They didn’t. And when the play opens, Juliet’s daddy is th’owin this big fancy-dress ball, and he invited the whole town to be thar, but he didn’t invite none of Romeo’s people to come. An’ his buddies learned of it and they put him up to slippin’ on a costume and slippin’ in at this party. An’ he was a spunky kind of a boy, and he done it!

He done it, and he got in thar and evr’thing was a-goin’ good till all of a sudden this girl Juliet come down the stairs. And he was so struck by her that he give a soliloquy right there. He did. And it wasn't about bein’ or not bein’, it was about doin’ or not doin’. Well, the dos, they won out over the don’ts, and so what he done, he got her by the hand and he started to take her out in the yard. And we’ll never know what it was they was a-gonna do out thar, we won’t, because this fella, Tybalt, recognised Romeo for who he was and come up on him a-tryin’ to pick a fight. But, er, Juliet’s daddy he didn’t want no blood-shed right there in his livin’ room, he didn’t, so all he done – he run Romeo off. But – uh – Romeo didn’t go straight home. No, he didn’t – he went out and he hid in the yard till ev’rbody left the party, and then, when they had all went, he popped up and looked around. And he seen this light comin’ from way off yonder, and he said to hi’self, he says, “Hark!” he says, “What light by yonder winder shines?” He did. And let me tell ya, Juliet stepped out of her bedroom winder onto this stoop. And – uh – she give a soliloquy. She did, friends, and somewhere in it, somewhere in it she says “Romeo, Romeo” she says, “Wherefor art thou Romeo?” And he popped up and says “I’m right hyar!”

Well, as it happened there was this great big pea-vine a-growin up to where she’s a-standin’... And so he clumb up it. He clumb up it and that is where they had that balcony scene. And they hadn’t been there but a few minutes till he ask’d her to marry him, and that shows that he was a honourable boy about it all. Well, she says “when?” Well he says “now” and that shows he wa’n’t up there for no light courting; he wanted to get on with it!

Back then the reason evrybody lived in castles was that there was so many of ‘em to put up at night. Well, there was so many of ‘em thar that they had to keep a preacher on duty day and night. Feller, Friar Laurence was his name, and so Romeo and Juliet went downstairs and woke him up and told him what it was they wanted to do and he tho’t that was alright, so he married 'em right there. But then, don’t you see, it was a question of where they was to spend the night, things bein’ how they was, an’ all. And Friar Laurence told Romeo that he ought to go on home that night. And Romeo, he didn’t take to it too hot. He didn’t. He didn’t, but he did, he went on home that night, and then Romeo thought that he better go off and lay low, till things cooled off. And while he was gone, friends, Juliet’s momma took a great notion that Juliet ought to get married – and then she was in a bind. She was. Because she didn’t want two husbands, she figured Romeo would be enough to take care of by hi’self. And so she went back down to Friar Laurence to see what she ought to do, and he mixed her up a drink, and she drunk it and she fell out across the bed thar’ an’ evr’body thought she’s dead. And they had this big pretty funeral and laid her out in this family tomb an’ all, and before Friar Laurence could git word to Romeo that she wasn’t really dead, some o’ them mean boys that lived in that town told him that she was dead. And he figured life didn’t hold nothin’ for him, so he went out and got him this big can o’ lye to drink.

So he went over to this tomb, where she was laid out, and he opened the door of it, and he says “Oh ma love, oh ma wife.” He did. And he went in and he drunk the lye and kissed her, and says “with this kiss I die”, and he fell out acrosst her there. And – uh – he was a big boy for his age... He was. And the impact of him a-fallin’ on her woke her up, and she woke up – didn’t know what was goin’ on, and she looked there and seen Romeo a-layin’ dead. And then she figured life didn’t hold nothin’ fer her, and then she took his knife and run it into herself, and she expired. She did, friends, and the moral of it is; If you got a boy that courts a girl that you don't like, or the other way around, if you don't want the expense of a double funeral on ya, the best thing to do is to let 'em have a cheap weddin'.